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4 h" b* W. Z5 JWhy did God make mothers?5 N( k$ C. p }3 U. O4 k% [( a
, R. e# V2 I+ ~1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
9 \4 M8 N6 p$ h# z6 X2. Mostly to clean the house. / y1 b) q: {8 W* H& s
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born. ; s8 S4 V* R, ~ r; r7 u
4 A0 J; Y/ E; l; @$ A4 h( FHow did God make mothers? 9 |. Q2 P" Q3 L6 f- x( \
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.6 _2 ?! }8 Y, `; r
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
; K9 l. a" {# `$ p3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
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. l! A3 u% i1 d7 J) VWhat ingredients are mothers made of ?
5 k4 [# U0 ]* {( s1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. ! R- z# K; l2 Q$ d+ b' _% o
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
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. F Z( H0 p2 X1 U" BWhy did God give you your mother and not some other mom? 0 [: K- o5 h+ J' \
1. We're related.
* v2 f# `: l1 n- L& G2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me. 0 V# \ w% z# M3 ^' ?4 T( C! [
, s7 V3 j, q" ]' E* ?0 iWhat kind of little girl was your mom?
/ D6 O1 ~2 A1 y4 ]+ O1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff. ' H# F9 ^* F z4 t! F# w/ j6 X
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
* L$ R7 `- a% }: p! ?9 A3. They say she used to be nice. 1 x. ]! E% e5 r6 d2 \
" \% D- @# o/ f1 j3 u! LWhat did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
0 V: ] o% ~1 |: R+ v1. His last name.5 L; I4 c& e7 K" y! }
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?7 @* ^: g: U9 ?' }: z- ]! k# s
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
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( c6 `, Q; `3 R' Y' {" zWhy did your mom marry your dad?
1 w6 _. f5 Z; ~9 M5 {$ \1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot. - M9 w' G, J2 [' U$ j' c' j0 [& Q0 ^
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
5 k6 v8 h* p! j% {. `3 Q+ i3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
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Who's the boss at your house? " p, i1 D6 A. i3 q$ ]
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball. ! @3 f. F7 i# P" s" S" L+ D
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
" w9 |. d, W; W3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad. $ W. G4 o; L2 L' }5 T
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What's the difference between moms & dads? L7 S# n1 Z( `5 @$ _1 p
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
1 X( C( \& _. W7 f. c2 v* r2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
& H" \1 o: ~0 D9 u3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. ( w4 W2 e8 E1 S. r& \6 {
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine. ) V/ w% u& T. @# O% N) D2 h6 }
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What does your mom do in her spare time?
' e* E, F9 h$ P0 h" N$ O1. Mothers don't do spare time.% z4 J/ \) }' ]/ j( O8 B# E
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. # [& K0 t' c J$ z% a+ x
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What would it take to make your mom perfect?
0 I- r% {9 [* V7 |) L- M+ c7 c1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
& W b/ }3 n, L( a2 f$ R2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
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! n, l* F ]8 N! k8 k7 e$ z1 NIf you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be? - `* o, q3 U6 C& x' z* x
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
; P( z4 M, S$ r1 l2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
$ x4 k- i% G; N% u, m( M3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
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