Crazy English! Zt

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4 g- ~9 d3 K% hCrazy English!
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+ x6 [, h( q; I, w0 rWe'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
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0 b: s( Z3 I, d( ROne fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
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If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
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# w2 n" G0 S" d3 |' M+ _If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?

/ E" P! ?7 d: r9 u% `7 H6 xIf one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?
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0 S6 C; o+ |) f& x: H; A( lThen one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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) w  Q# E( }0 K+ [: [% b, b* ]We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.
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Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
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1 {/ m( L$ I) M  W& A& V  eLet's face it, English is a crazy language!

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.
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And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?

$ ]/ w* _: N: E% Z6 T/ {; \Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?

If you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

9 d' V4 w* a0 s# X& FIf teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

4 b& N! ^/ Y6 q2 }- f9 r, F" sIn what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

, q$ R& E! r) i0 u" o4 P& _Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

; e7 w- @! p$ {Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

$ u! L% [, F) b  p* N3 B, Y( LYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
House burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!

6 c% g$ C; T. y. [# LSometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane